Did you think to pray.

This is a little story I just really wanted to share.

A few days ago I was having a really hard day. My heart felt heavy and angry. My children we're particularly rough that day and nothing seemed to be right. After a long struggle to get my children down for naps I turned my attention to the kitchen that needed cleaning. As I was scrubbing the counters and running through all my negative thoughts of that day a small tune began to play in the back of my mind. Frustrated, defeated and angry I began to hear the song playing in the back of my mind. Here is what slowly drifted to the forefront of thoughts...

Ere you left your room this morning,
Did you think to pray?
In the name of Christ our Savior,
Did you sue for loving favor,
As a shield today?

• Oh, how praying rests the weary!
  Prayer will change the night to day;
  So when life seems dark and dreary,
  Don’t forget to pray.

After realizing what my attitude was just moments before, I hit my knees. How thankful I am for prayer and that gentle reminder I got! After a little bit of time in prayer I felt my heart lifted and my entire day changed. My spirits were lifted and I became a better mother/person that day. So when life gets dark and dreary PLEASE Don't forget to pray. 

No matter what denomination or faith you are if you believe there is someone to pray to, don't forget to pray. 

Here are all the words to that wonderful song that changed my day and also an amazing rendition by the BYU's Men's Chorus.

Ere you left your room this morning,

1. Did you think to pray?
   In the name of Christ our Savior,
   Did you sue for loving favor,
   As a shield today?
   • Refrain:
     Oh, how praying rests the weary!
     Prayer will change the night to day;
     So when life seems dark and dreary,
     Don’t forget to pray.
2. When you met with great temptation,
   Did you think to pray?
   By His dying love and merit,
   Did you claim the Holy Spirit
   As your guide and stay?
3. When your heart was filled with anger,
   Did you think to pray?
   Did you plead for grace, my brother,
   That you might forgive another
   Who had crossed your way?
4. When sore trials came upon you,
   Did you think to pray?
   When your soul was bowed in sorrow,
   Balm of Gilead did you borrow
   At the gates of day?

5 Tips To Beautiful Self Confidence

It's been a while since I did a Be Beautiful post and I'm super excited about this one. Today I'm going to share some tips that personally helped me feel confident in who I am. Confidence is power and a women who is confident and loves herself can accomplish anything she puts her mind to.

As a young girl and teenager I always struggled with my confidence levels. At that time I thought it was because I wasn't pretty enough or because I didn't have enough friends or boys chasing me. I have come to realize it was truly because I never accepted myself for who I was. I was my worst critic and was always putting myself down. How can you ever feel confident when your inner voice is always pointing out your flaws. I hate that I ever felt this way and that to this day I still struggle with that stupid inner voice and lack of confidence. So here are my tips on how to combat all the negativity and rise up as a confident happy person.

1. Stay positive.

It's so much easier to feel good about yourself when you have a positive mindset. I know it sounds so simple but yet being positive can be so hard to achieve! Here is how I do it and I hope it can help you. When things are really getting you down and your feeling constant negative thoughts about yourself, STOP, breath and then mentally list of all the things you love about yourself. I've had days when getting ready for the day I just dwell on all the things I hate. My tummy is to big, my eyebrows are to bushy and on and on. When my thoughts head that direction I make a special effort to list all the things I love. I have also used this stay positive technique in other aspects of my life. When my kids are whining non stop and everything out of their mouths is negative, I stop them and make them start listing all of their favorite parts of the day. They always begin reluctantly but slowly they begin laughing and chatting about all the things that made them happy. The whole atmosphere in the home changes and we all feel better. So when you feel your negativity creeping in and hindering your self confidence stop it in its tracks and remind yourself of all that is wonderful about you.

2. Admit defeat.

So what do I mean by admitting defeat? I mean there are somethings about your looks or personality that will never change no matter how hard you try. Dwelling on these things will only make you unhappy and bring down your confidence. Here are a few things I have admitted defeat on; I will never ever have a nice flat stomach again (unless I want to shell out tons of money and get A LOT of surgery done), I have a scar on my eyebrow that is never going away, I'm not 19 anymore and I will never look 19 again, I'm very introverted, I have the worst short term memory and the list goes on and on but I'd rather not dwell on those things. Rather then letting these things get me down I simply admit them to myself and deal with them and move on. After bearing two beautiful children with my small body frame my stomach took a major beating. I wear my stretch marks under my cloths with pride and dress myself to mask and flatter the extra layer of skin and fat in my midsection. I lost 25lbs since having my last child and there isn't much I can do about my tummy area at this point. So I have admitted defeat and moved on. I hold my head high with confidence because there are somethings I just can't change and it's okay.

3. Stop comparing yourself to everyone!

I'll admit this one I still struggle with. With facebook, pintreset, instagram and all the other social media outlets that show women having the most fabulous and glamours lives its easy to start comparing yourself to them. You see their pictures always looking so beautiful while your sitting on the couch in you pj's eating skittles (ok maybe that is just me... but you get the point right?). Well guess what friends, you don't have to be fabulous everyday! Those women you are comparing yourself to are NOT REAL! They are a fantasy that you made up in your head. Everyone has struggles and weakness that you don't see. Yes there are many beautiful active women in the world but their lives aren't perfect and yours doesn't have to be either. If you want to look nice everyday and that makes you happy then by all means wake up early get yourself ready and live your day in confidence. BUT if you're like me and that kind of life style stresses you out then don't do it. Take a day for yourself when you decide not to do your hair or get dressed and live that day in confidence... you can always look good tomorrow. So I guess my point is, be yourself do what makes you happy and stop comparing yourself to the women that "has it all". You will never be confident with who you are when your constantly chasing what others are.

4. Follow the golden rule.

Treat others the way you want to be treated. How can someone be confident when they are unhappy with who they are as a person? Well they can't. They might have false self confidence but they will never have that aura of a truly happy confident person. When you engage yourself in kind works you are so filled with joy it spills out. After turning your focus outward to the people around you, you begin to careless about the caddie things in life.

5. When you look good you feel good.

Ok yes this is more superficial then all the others but you have to admit when you feel good about your appearance you walk a little taller. Now I'm not saying you have to be a super model everyday I'm just saying take care of yourself. Live a healthy lifestyle so you can be proud of your body even if it's not perfect. If you need a confidence boost for the day put on your favorite outfit, wear your favorite lipstick, or put on those heels that hurt your feet so bad but look so dang good. Loving the way you look can prepare you to show the world, you love who you are and you're not afraid to show it on the outside. Loving your appearance and taking pride in your appearance doesn't make you a bad person. Looking good so that you can feel better then other people is not the goal. This will only lead to self destruction. Embrace your beauty and enjoy who you are.

I hope these tips can help inspire you to live your life in confidence and love who you are!

Thank you for reading please feel free to share your thoughts on what makes you feel confident!

Beautiful Daughter

This is my beautiful wonderful baby girl Zoey. She is two and a half years old and she is such a wonderful part of my life. I am writing this post about her to bring attention to how we should be striving to influence our next generation of women to have a positive self image.

My Zoey is full of spirit, spunk, sass, smarts, sweetness and love. She is the most independent little girl I have ever encountered in my life. She has such a loving spirit that if anyone around her is upset she will do whatever she can to kiss and make them better. I love all of my daughters wonderful qualities and I will always strive to raise her in a way that celebrates every aspect of who she is.

In our society women are constantly bombarded with messages of "You're not good enough" and frankly I'm sick of it. My business is based on looking, feeling and being beautiful INSIDE and out (I will write more about this later). Beauty is not only about just looking your best but being your best too. 

All you have to do is turn on a reality show and women are celebrated for being stupid, wild and sexy. This is not how I intend to raise my child. I want my daughter to know that she is special and beautiful no matter what anyone else on earth might say. If we raise the future generations of women to love themselves than maybe they wont feel inclined to tear others down.

The article 15 Tips for Raising Kids With a Positive Body Image by Baby Dust Diaries has amazing tips for teaching your children how to love themselves. Here are the tips they share in the article.

1. Never use the word fat in a derogatory way.  Avoid media that does.
2. Never imply that you can’t do something or wear something because of your size (“oh, not with these thighs!”)
3. Never compliment others based on size(how many times is “you look so thin!” the ultimate compliment?)
4. Point out the beauty of diversity in people and nature – nurture the idea that beauty is diversity.  I love to say “what would the word be if all the flowers looked the same?”
5. Avoid making physical activity about size or based on what you ate(“I have to jog off that cake”).  Physical activity should be joyful.
6. Do not label foods as “good” and “bad”
7. Offer a variety of foods and model moderate indulgence and a wide consumption of foods. Eating should be joyful.
8. Don’t make your kids eat if they say they aren’t hungry¹.  The refrain “finish your dinner!” should be stricken from the mommy lexicon.  Better to let them trust their bodies than feel guilt about wasting food.
9. Don’t deny your kids food if they say they are hungry.  Another area where we often ignore our kids opinions and feelings.  Try to make your pantry a “yes” pantry with a variety of healthy options that your kids can eat when they want.
10. Never comment on the amount (too little or too much) that your kids eat.
11. NEVER use food as a reward, incentive, or punishment!  (this is SO abused among parents!!)
12. Guard your children against negative body-image media – stop your subscriptions to women’s mags, don’t watch Biggest Loser, Toddler and Tiaras (focusing on appearance), and any variety of shows promoting appearance as a route to happiness.
13. Avoid talking about a nutrionalist approach to food – disassembling “food” into fat, carbs, calories, and other things that need to be obsessed about and counted (difficult since it is explicitly taught in many schools).
14. Encourage alternative means of self-esteem besides appearance – spirituality, values, empathy, effort, etc.
15. Volunteer!  It is much harder to think of something so superficial as size in the face of true plight.

I love all the tips shared above and I refer to them often. I also LOVE this scene from the movie "The Help". Every little girl should be celebrated for 

her positive attributes. We should refrain from pointing out flaws and encouraging the self doubts our children might feel. If I'm talking about my daughter to someone else and she is within ear shot I always make it a point to only talk about the things I love about her. I try to never say anything negative. I would hate to make her feel self conscious or insecure.

We always need be aware of what we are saying about others and ourselves in front of our children. Are we constantly calling ourselves fat? Are we always obsessing about our appearance? Do we talk about other peoples size? Do we talk negative about other peoples appearances? Just because we are not talking directly to our children doesn't mean they aren't listening. We should always think "How would I feel if my child was saying these things?". The best practice to follow is the oldest rule and one we repeat over and over to our children... If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all. All the Negative things we say about ourselves and about others our children will internalize. They may even begin to think these negative things about others and worst of all about themselves. They may also begin to wonder if you are feeling these negative things about them. If you want to encourage a positive self image in your child remember to speak kindly of yourself and other and stop dwelling on appearances.

My Zoey is extremely small for her age and EVERYONE likes to point out that fact. I have learned that there is nothing I can do about this fact. She is "Tiny" as everyone says and people will continue to point that fact out to us. So instead of making her feel sad about being "Tiny" we have been embracing it. When someone says to us "Wow she is Tiny!" I reply "Yup and she is so smart". Often times I'll ask Zoey "Are you big girl?" and she will answer very enthusiastically "Yup and I'm tiny". She knows she is smart and very capable like a "Big Girl" but she is also proud that she is "Tiny Zoey". I will always encourage her to embrace who she is. I was extremely insecure as a little girl and I will do everything in my power to help my daughter be proud of who she is inside and out. She is Beautiful to the core and I will always remind her of that.

I would love to hear what you have to say as well. Please share your feelings and words of advice.

Thank you for reading and I can't wait to hear your feedback.